Michael Jackson, Not Guilty
(Not Innocent Either!)

Ten indictments. Ten acquittals. Ten facelifts. By the end of the nineties Michael Jackson was estimated to be worth 750 million dollars. I think I read that the man (sic) has over thirty number-one hits to his credit since going solo in the early eighties. The entire world has watched with amazement the young talent slowly turn into a freakish circus sideshow that could be found riding a Ferris wheel with little boys on his 270-acre hideaway. He bought Elephant Man, for crying out loud. He owns the Beatles!! How could we let ‘ol Wacko-Jacko marry the King’s daughter, for krissakes?

Here’s the scariest part, from CNBC.com: “Superstar Michael Jackson will no longer open himself up to child abuse allegations by sharing his bed with young boys, his lawyer said tonight. “He’s not going to do that any more,” Tom Mesereau told NBC. “He’s not going to make himself vulnerable to this any more.” The man with the blow-hole on his face decided that it is not a good idea to sleep with little boys anymore. He’s going to give it up. What the hell kind of asinine statement is that? You have just been vindicated of child molestation charges that could have put you in the hole for thirty years and the first thing you say to your adoring public is that you don’t think sharing a bed with minors is such a good idea. This pisses me off! At least OJ had the sense to maintain that he was innocent, even searching for the “real killer” for months after his acquittal.

Michael says he will sell Neverland and move out of the country. I think that is a great idea. Hey, Michael. Take OJ and Mr. Blake with you!

Chowder!